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You have not yet touched my heart!

Joy Alejandrino, a Focolarina from Ilocos Sur, Northern Philippines, got to know the Focolare through her parents who are active members of the Focolare. She lived in Cameroun, Africa for almost 11 years. Here she shares her beautiful adventure on African soil.

A nurse by profession, back in 2000, Joy was able to attend the Genfest 2000 in Rome. There she then felt God’s call to follow him as a Focolarina. She shares, “When I felt God’s calling, I left everything behind – my family, friends, and profession. Then to my surprise, after 3 years of formation as a Focolarina in Italy, in 2005, I was assigned to go to Fontem, Cameroun, Africa! It was like a leap into the unknown…but I felt enthusiastic about the adventure that God had planned for me, though quite aware that it was a completely different world to discover.”

In January 2006, she arrived in Fontem, Cameroun to start a completely new experience in a different environment, in the midst of the African forest… Coming for the first time to Africa, she sensed the great work done by those who had built the Focolare Movement there so she admitted, “I couldn’t but enter on tiptoe so as not to ruin what they’ve done…and I felt also how much love, sacrifices and life had been offered for this land. I was able to sense the presence of God in the community, and even in the school and hospital there.”

The white host

Although Joy desired to make herself one, she didn’t know how to. She recalls an experience that firmed her resolve to be one with the people, “In my first days in Fontem, during mass, I was praying for the grace to be able to completely immerse myself in this new will of God and in this new culture before me. When the priest raised the host, I kept staring at it, and all of a sudden, I felt the white host disappeared, as the background wall was also white.

My vision may just have been blurred and it may not be something extraordinary, but this thought came as if God was asking me something. I realized that Jesus had died for us. He had disappeared to bring us to the Father. I felt this was what was being asked of me – to disappear and to be nothing – only to love this people, to be love because only love can penetrate cultures. I resolved even more to make myself one with the people and with their culture.”

This experience made her enthusiastic and open to God’s surprises in each moment, and cultivated the disposition to learn, enjoy the new experience and give herself to others.
She recounts, “I remember their food and dishes were so different but I was trying out everything. At first the taste seemed strange, but with my desire to eat what they too were eating, I started to enjoy it and even began to like those dishes. I would also try to use my hand when eating fufu (pounded cocoyam or cassava), despite all the oil, but I really enjoyed it.”

The locals watching her enjoying herself while eating it were also delighted. She also picked up some words in their dialects, and would go for walks with them, even for long distances. She learned to dance or dress as they did. She saw how these small things touched them, and gradually, she felt that she was now welcomed and had really become a part of them.
The Sunday Masses in Fontem would normally take up two hours, and for Joy it was a bit strange at the beginning, but she realized that it was a normal thing for the people. She shares, “When there were occasions like Thanksgiving, the Feast of the Assumption, Christmas, or Easter, the celebration would even last four hours!

I have to confess that there were times I felt really tired, but I admit that these celebrations really touched me. I would find myself watching the people dance, and how they behaved, looking at their dresses and hairstyles, and I ended up swaying to the music and also trying to dress up well for these occasions as it was important for them too. In the end, Holy Mass became an encounter with Jesus in the Word, in the Eucharist, and with each neighbour.”

Listening to the heart-beat

As a nurse, Joy then worked in the hospital. She saw how they communicated with expressive words and body language. She narrates, “At first, I would think of how much work had to be done, and how many patients had to be followed up, but then, I understood that the first cure for each patient was to be listened to.

This was a very important lesson for me – to put my whole self into listening to others, and indeed it was there that I understood that most of their problems were related to what they were passing through in their lives, in their families or their friends. They were very sensitive about the attention given to them. Touch for them was also very important. One time, while talking with an old mother with a cardiac problem, after checking her pulse, blood pressure and her medical history, I was about to ask her to continue her medication, but she objected, ‘No, no, no…you have not yet touched my heart!’

For her, not touching her means not having done anything yet for her, so I had no right to give her any medicine yet. From then on, as a symbolic gesture, I would also listen to her heart beat, and feel the rhythm in her chest while she breathed. This was more important for her and she would always leave the hospital room so happy. Many patients, especially the old mothers and fathers, who usually speak only dialect would continue to talk to me as if I could understand everything. Since I listened attentively, before they left, some would even squeeze my upper arm all the way down to my hands saying, ‘Thank you, thank you, thank God…God is great…God bless you.’ ’’

Living evangelization and inculturation

Joy continues, “As Focolarinas, we were assigned to different places for apostolate and mission. I used to go to a village one and a half-hour’s walk away. I had chances to go with different people. It was uphill climbing, but one could also go with a motorcycle.

However, I always preferred walking. It was a chance to know the people better, especially those who were coming with me, and to build deeper relationships. It was a chance to know better their culture, the way they think, and do things. In these walks, we were able to build unity among us and the presence of Christ in our midst. Then as we entered the village we were able to communicate to them this love among us, aside from our experiences on the Word of God which the people loved to hear.

This was our way of carrying out “evangelization”, to live mutual love among us first, then other things followed like a short program, a reading of the Word of Life reflection, and sharing about how we had lived the Gospel concretely, and we ate lunch. The village I used to visit had no electricity. But since they had a thirst to know more about the Gospel and the life of unity, I would always bring a DVD player in my backpack and they would provide the generator and the TV, just to be able to watch some videos on the spirituality of unity. They would also invite us to their special events like “cry die” (a typical Bangwa mourning but joyful celebration) or a feast, or wedding.”

Mom forever

Joy also helped with youth formation. She recounts, “We did many things together, but in particular we shared their joys and pains, their many challenges, and we grew together in the struggle to be always in God’s ray by doing His will. I was surprised to see how one of them registered my name in her phone book as “mum forever”. I realized then that when one feels love, one values it forever.”

In her last year in Cameroun, she was transferred to Fonjumetaw, about 25 kms. from Fontem. It was a rural setting and only very few could follow up the community, as well as run a health-center and a nursery school. They were dealing with people of all ages, from all walks of life, and there was also the parish community. Joy recalls, “It was a big challenge, but we in the Focolare just threw ourselves into loving our closest neighbour first, and listening to their problems. Consequently, we were able to build a good relationship with the local community. We also saw how the people were helping the community to grow, and because of their love for us, we really felt like one family.”

Last year, Joy had to leave Fonjumetaw suddenly because of the serious health problems of her mom in the Philippines. Quite worried about leaving Fonjumetaw as she still had many things to do there for the community, she made a leap of faith in unity with the Focolare community there, and she did it out of love for her mom too, believing that God had a plan for them all. She returned to the Philippines in 2017. But before leaving Fonjumetaw, Joy really treasured what they told to her, “We feel so much gratitude to you, to the Focolare and to God. As you are leaving, we are in tears, we are in tears, but since it is our mum (thus they referred to Joy’s mom), then we embrace this situation too, and we are happy that you go. We have done many things together, and we promise to go ahead, and to do even more for God.”

Jose Aranas 

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